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Special Guest: Performance with Kim Raine

Jan 12, 2022 | Episodes, Special Guest | 0 comments

This episode of the Money Compass podcast was published on 12th January 2022. You can listen again by heading to our Episodes page, or on your favourite podcast player.

In this Special Guest episode Emma is joined by performance coach Kim Raine. Kim works with women to help them with their mind, body and confidence. She looks at where these women are getting stuck in life and helps them move through it.

Kim’s Top Tips

  • Your mindset is important – think about yourself and take time to put yourself first
  • If you are working from home, make a conscious effort to have a clear start and end to your work day. Don’t let the lines become blurred between the two
  • Working with a coach can be a great way of getting from A to B – most people know where they want to go but don’t know how to get there at the end of the day
  • “Coaching is life changing, because it just gives you this opportunity to sit and untangle yourself and unravel and just get things in a straight line”

Performance

Emma Knights
So today I’m joined by the lovely Kim Raine from Kim Raine Coaching. So it’s lovely to have you with us today.

Kim Raine
Hi, thank you for having me, you are more than welcome.

Emma Knights
So, I’m hoping you can tell us a little bit about what you do?

Kim Raine
So ultimately I work with predominantly women, but not exclusively, to help them with their mind and their body and confidence. Ultimately, it’s performance coaching, and we just looking at where their blocks are, where they’re getting stuck in life, and helping them move through that.

It’s holistic, in that we look at the whole thing, people might come for one thing, so they might come because they’re struggling with confidence and struggling to show up in their work or in their life in some area. Or they might come because they’re struggling to sleep at night, or that the stress in their life has come to a point where the scales are tipped in the wrong way. And that’s starting to really effect everything, from their sleep, to them physically, mentally and emotionally.

So I work holistically, and we end up looking at the mind, and looking at the mindset around that and how we can look at how we our thoughts can troll us. But also we look at the physical side of things, so looking at nutrition, I look at your sleep, I look at getting active and movement, and then I have even done stuff on purpose. So thinking about whether you are doing the things in life that are making you happy? It’s a whole holistic transformation package.

Emma Knights
Wow, sounds like a huge array of different things that you’re doing. That’s really interesting.

Kim Raine
It kind of goes off in all sorts of directions, depending on, well, everyone’s journey is slightly different, but ultimately, I always say the methods might change, but the principles are always always the same.

Emma Knights
Fantastic. So what led you to do what you do now? How did you get into it?

Kim Raine
I’ve been coaching for about 16 or 17 years now. I think for me, it’s just seeing, you know, I’ve worked with a lot of women. And I think for me, the mindset side of things that has become more important. Over the years, it’s kind of evolved, you know, I started off in the health and wellbeing space. And then it was like, well, actually, yeah, that is the foundation, but there’s so much more to it.

So, a big thing that I help women through is menopause, and peri-menopause, and looking at hormones and the endocrine system as well. So what I do has just kind of grown. And as human beings, it’s what people need.

Ultimately, the coaching side of it comes from having the strategies. The strategies are not the thing that’s usually holding back people, it’s never really a lack of strategy, it’s usually a lack of implementing it, and keeping it going and keeping that focus on it. So, that’s what really changes people when you can get behind the mindset and work on identity shifting.

I have been through my own ups and downs. I had my own business, and I sold that in 2019. During that time, I went through my own sort of burnout, where I just became overwhelmed with stress, completely fatigued and exhausted. Luckily, at the time, I had an amazing team and was able to step back and let myself heal. But it was quite disappointing, how long that actually takes when you get there. I always say to people, everyone thinks they’ve burnt out until they burn out. And when it really happens, when you really hit that brick wall, where you suddenly get to the point where you don’t want to get out of bed, you don’t want to do the things that gave you so much passion and purpose and so much joy before. It can become really difficult to be showing up at work and stuff like that.

So that was part of my story – which was going from burnout to building a business that’s more sustainable and gives me more balance in my life. And that’s ultimately what I want to help my clients do. Get to a point whereby they can have a business that they really enjoy but that isn’t something that takes over them and becomes some kind of monster and they still have a work/life balance.

It’s so important and I think really, now more than ever post pandemic. It has been huge. I had clients who were balancing stuff but now the lines have become even more blurred as to where work stops and home starts. And particularly for people that are working from home, it can be like, well, actually, when the pandemic first hit, I had a lot of clients who would commute in the day, and actually, although they said that it was a pain and it was a long journey, that would sometimes be an hour, actually they got to read a book or listen to a podcast to themselves – maybe even do their Sainsbury’s shop online. Then of course, when the pandemic hit they thought, okay, well, now I’m going to have all this extra time now I’m working from home and not commuting. I’m gonna have time to do all this stuff. And ultimately, what happened insidiously is that people started getting to their desks earlier and earlier ‘oh, I can do a bit more, or just work a bit later’ or ‘oh, I go back to my desk at eight o’clock at night’. And so it’s just working out how people can redefine those boundaries as to where work stops and life starts, because that’s super important in so many areas, I think.

Emma Knights
As well, for working from home, if you haven’t got a separate space that you can shut the door on and walk away from it, it’s so difficult to draw that line. I found that you do just naturally think, I’ll just sit down and quickly do something so I can see why so many people have had that issue.

Kim Raine
Oh, easy to do. Yeah. So easy.

Emma Knights
And it sounds like you’ve adapted with your clients over time and even experienced it yourself, which has probably now helped you even more to be able to pass that experience on to your clients and help them through it.

Kim Raine
Absolutely. I mean, there’s a lot of stuff that actually on my end, for me, there was a point when I was like, ‘hold on a minute, Kim, this is what you’re telling your clients to do all the time, and you’re not taking your own advice.’

Because what can happen is you get caught up in the moment, and there is this that needs doing and there’s that which need doing and, you know, help this client and go to this meeting and do all of these things. In my head, I’m thinking, you’re going against everything that you’re teaching your clients to do. But actually, it’s really easy to fall into that trap. Because we kind of seem, like I say, that everyone thinks they’re burning out. So they burnout. And we kind of think we’re invincible.

What happened with me, this was sort of like going back eight or nine years, but I had my children who were younger, running my business, it was half term or summer holidays, I think, and we were going on holiday. So I was trying to organise the holiday whilst spinning all these other plates. One day my husband came home and I was in a bit of a state and he ended up telling me ‘you need to stop’. And actually when I stopped in that moment, I physically couldn’t move for two whole days.

I laid in bed and I couldn’t do anything. And, I was saying to him at the time, ‘but I don’t want to stop, don’t make me stop, don’t make me stop’ because I knew if I stopped, I was going to completely stop. And that feeling, like I say, it’s addictive.

I had a client this week, we’ve been working together for about seven or eight weeks now. And she got in touch and said I feel like I’m getting overwhelmed, I feel stressed. So we jumped on a call and I asked ‘what are you stressed about?’ and she, when we broke it down, she said ‘actually, because of the stuff I’ve put into place, I’ve not actually got anything really stressful going on.’ And actually what it is, is we’re so used to feeling stress, we’re so used to feeling busy, we’re so used to feeling overwhelmed that when the stress and the busyness is taken away from us, it can be quite uncomfortable. And quite stressful if you’re used to being on the go and to suddenly have this time to yourself.

That’s kind of where I was and I pulled back for a bit. Luckily we were going on holidays so we went off on holiday and then I had some time off before coming back to it. But actually coming back to it then was fine but what I hadn’t done is changed anything in my life.

So, you know, 18 months later, that’s when some stuff happened in my life. One of my best friends died very suddenly, my mum got a second diagnosis of breast cancer. She’s still with us today. She’s rocking and rolling years and years later, but at the time, I’d been treading water and suddenly all these waves were here. I just didn’t have anything in the tank left to deal with that. And that’s when you know, now looking back, I was like, I wish I’d made the changes the first time round. So yeah, that sort of went off on a bit of a tangent there.

Emma Knights
That’s fine, it was really interested to know. Thank you. So from what we do as financial advisers, obviously we see lots of different clients. You’ve mentioned lots of different reasons that they might be stressed and have worries and things like that, but something we see is how money can affect people in different ways.

So some people can be worried that they haven’t got enough money and worry how are they going to survive because they’ve just got their state pension and is their private pension going to give them enough for their retirement. And the other worry can be sometimes that they’ve never had a lot of money, and then all of a sudden they get an inheritance that they never expected. They’ve got this big lump of money and it’s a panic of what on earth do I do with this? I’ve never had money before, and not knowing how to cope with it. So how would you work with someone in kind of those situations? What would you work through with them?

Kim Raine
So there’s a couple of things there isn’t there? One of the things that I know comes up with clients of mine is, that you might have a big salary, but usually you’re living to your means. You live into your means, so you always have the spinning plates thing, and the worry of whether there going to be enough and what if it all goes? What if it’s all suddenly stopped? And it’s a bit like you’re saying, when people get a lot of money suddenly, and again, it’s a little bit like if they haven’t changed identity, they’re still the same person. So it feels a bit like what I was saying about when you get used to being stressed, it just feels uncomfortable, it doesn’t feel as you would normally be.

I think the first thing is to get perspective on things, if you’re worrying about stuff. Just take a step back and think right, what is the truth of the situation here? What’s really going to happen? Quite often with clients, when we talk about financial worries, or anything holding them back, it’s like, okay, let’s step back and see where you really are. What can you control? And we’ll deal with that and take action on that. And then actually, what is the stuff that you are catastrophising or maybe filling in some blanks, you know, the mind will always fill in blanks. So it will make up stories. You know, some of those stories are valid, but more often than not, they’re based on past experiences, or they’re based on something that might have happened to you.

I’m reading Julie Hunt’s book at the moment and she talks about money mindset in there. And, you know, ultimately, it can be stuff that’s happened from our childhood that can trigger things that actually aren’t true and aren’t relevant now. So I think it’s really important to zoom out and take a look at what’s really going on and think, ok, what are the facts? What’s the truth here? What can I control in this situation? What is out of my control? Maybe I need to either get some help with these things, perhaps come to people like yourselves, or let go of it because actually, it is out of my control. And I’m never going to be able to control it. So by worrying about it, I’m just driving myself crazy for nothing.

I think perspective is really key. As I’ve just described what my clients are going through, a lot of people are going through at the moment of the whole working from home, we have been on a real roller coaster ride, I don’t think anybody’s got away unscathed in the last 18 months. And so there’s a lot of uncertainty. When we feel uncertain, that’s when we really feel out of our comfort zones. It’s uncomfortable. And, we can be prone to making up stories, we can be prone to thinking, well, what if this happens, what if that happens. Usually we’re living on something that’s happened in the past and is probably not very likely to happen again.

But actually, the other part of this is, first of all, is getting the clients to get perspective. And then we really dial down into this whole idea of enough, you know, not having enough. And so we look at what you have really got and your chances of survival. Are you going to survive? Ultimately, that’s a lot of where our worries come from, it’s a primal instinct of am I gonna be able to survive?

The other thing that I was going to say was controlling the controllables. And just looking at, ultimately, what the truth is, what is the truth of the situation and looking at where you’re, you know, distorting, deleting and generalising information.

Emma Knights
Fantastic, thank you. So clients that might come to us and say to us that they’re worried about things, obviously, something else they think about is what’s essential spending, what’s discretionary spending and making sure that they get value from every penny that they do spend. Obviously, they don’t want to be just throwing money away unnecessarily. So what value would you say that coaching brings to a client that actually is really important for them to have?

Kim Raine
I think that the value of coaching is again, perspective. Quite often when someone comes to me they kind of know what they want to achieve, but they don’t know how to get from A to B. The reality is, even if they can see where B is, it’s never going to be linear. So it’s having somebody to help you on that journey, and whatever area you’re looking at in your life, it’s an investment in yourself and into your future.

Whenever I work with a client, it’s like you’re investing in your future self. I guess, it’s not a tangible thing  and I think that sometimes people do struggle to invest in it, because it’s seen as an urgent thing. But ultimately, coaching is life changing, because it just gives you this opportunity to sit and untangle yourself and unravel and just get things in a straight line.

Sometimes you just need a coach to bring you back to that line. And so ultimately, if you have a goal that you want to achieve, the reality is, if you do it with a coach, you’re going to get there a lot quicker, a lot easier. And ultimately, that can save you time and money.

Emma Knights
Sounds like a very good reason to me, definitely. If our listeners wanted to get in touch with you and find out more information about how they might be able to work with you what would be the best way for them to get in touch with you?

Kim Raine
So you can get in touch with me on the socials. So I’m @kimrainecoaching or on my website, which is www.kimrainecoaching.com. I’m on Instagram, and I’m on LinkedIn as Kim Raine. Just remember the E or you won’t find find me at all!

Emma Knights
We’re gonna put your details on the podcast anyway. So your website will be available for people to find you. But I hear you have something exciting going on as well, at the moment you have an online programme. Tell us a little bit about that.

Kim Raine
Okay, so I have my online programme, the mind body reset. And this is where I work with people one to one. So I work with a lot of clients one to one, if they want to really do that deep dive into really focusing on themselves, that’s kind of like a six month journey. But then I also have a lot of the clients who I work with who want that reset in their life. They want to be like, actually, now’s the time to make change.

A lot of my clients, particularly the mind, body reset, are women who are peri-menopause or are going through the menopause, and want to look at their health and well being. It is mindset but also, you know, I’ve literally just come off a call with the ladies, it’s about confidence. It’s about finding your purpose.

Actually, you know, peri-menopause, and menopause is an amazingly exciting time for women. But it gets a bit of a bad rap because of some of the symptoms. Ultimately, it’s a time when a lot of the hormones that have made us put everyone else before ourselves and made us just try to juggle everything; we’ve got kids, careers, all home life, managing the home, all of these things.

A lot of those partly because of the whole change in our hormones, but also the change in our life situations, children go off to college and university and we accept that. But it’s like what about me? What do I want to do now? What’s my purpose? And that’s what the mind body reset is really about.

It’s just about, looking at getting some balance in your life, getting that work life balance. It’s a time when, you know, actually what do you do with this extra time? Often some of that extra time just goes into working longer hours and working more, because it’s kind of like, well, what else am I going to do? So it’s really about that reset and looking at what you can be doing instead and where you want the next stage of your life to be.

Emma Knights
Fantastic. So the online programme, is that working with people one to one and doing some group sessions as well?

Kim Raine
Yeah, so it’s weekly group sessions. Well, we programme but some of the ladies come in and we work on on a one to one basis as well. And some ladies just do the group sessions. So there’s the option for both there.

Emma Knights
I can see from your face how excited you are about it and how much you enjoy helping people. The enthusiasm from you is incredible. I love it.

Kim Raine
I just love it. I love it because when you see the changes that people can make in their lives and you see before and after, it is phenomenal. It is life changing because we can just get caught up in life so easily. It’s easy to just get caught up and get your head down and before you know where you are, you’re just working day in day out.

Emma Knights
It’s basically just finding the real you again, and kind of starting again, isn’t it?

Kim Raine
Absolutely. Like I’ve just been saying to the ladies on the call, is what are you doing for you? What do you do to have fun? What do you do to relax and socialise? A lot of women at that point go, ‘I don’t know.’

I work with with men and women who are coming up to retirement and they’re like, ‘I’m nervous about retiring because I do not know what I’m going to do with this time.’ If they have money worries on top of that, then that can be tough.

Emma Knights
I would say we find that quite a lot with clients. You’ve always got two groups of clients, some clients cannot wait to retire, I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to do this. They have all these things that they want to do. Then there’s another group of clients are like, I can’t retire, if I retire and stop that’s it. I’m done. They need something to keep them going and ticking over. I think some people have been so busy throughout their whole lives, if they went from doing everything to nothing, and they’ve not got hobbies, and they’ve not got things that they’ve liked and enjoy to do. They get to retirement and then they have nothing. They just switch off and don’t know how to cope with it.

Kim Raine
And what a waste of everything that you’ve worked so hard for you know, this is your time to enjoy it. So yeah, it’s an important time.

Emma Knights
Fantastic. Well, thank you so much for sharing all that with me today, Kim. And one thing I want to ask you is something we ask all of our guests on The Money Compass, as we like a bit of holiday and a bit of travel can you tell me what your favourite holiday destination is?

Kim Raine
So my favourite holiday destination is bit boring really. It’s a place called Javea in Spain. I lived there for five or six years and we’ve got a place out there. I haven’t been out there for a few years because of life but it’s just somewhere I can go and relax. I’ve got my favourite place on Earth there, a little beach, a nice little beach site where they do amazing tapas and stuff like that. So, not super, super exotic, but it’s just somewhere where I go and I literally feel my whole body go, ah, and relax.

Emma Knights
Perfect. Sounds like a perfect holiday destination to me. Thank you for joining us today. And hopefully we’ll speak to you again soon.

Kim Raine
Thank you very much. Thanks for having me. Thank you.